Torn...

My mind has been racing these past few days. God has been showing me so many things about my life tha He doesn't like, and I feel completely torn apart. I've sinned against the Lord in ways I promised myself that I wouldn't, and even though I know the Lord forgives I still feel broken. I want so badly to live wholly devoted to Christ, and I'm trying as hard as I can to get myself right with Him again.

What I've realized is that I've been allowing myself to become the center of my life, and I've left God out. This past week tore me apart; I spent the majority of my time wrestling with God for control in my life. He won, and left me broken with a promise to rebuild me stronger than I was before. The rebuilding process is going to take time, but I know that life will be better with God leading the way.

I've listened to Further Seems Forever's album "Hide Nothing" about 30 times this week, and this song really stuck out to me.

"Lead the Way" by Further Seems Forever

I'm not above asking/
for your help/
I'm not above asking/
I know myself/
For you to find a way/

I'm not above trying to understand/
I'm not above trying to take your hand/
I'm not above (I'm not above)/
I'm not above trying to understand/
I'm not above trying to take your hand/
I'm not above (I'm not above)/

You come closer to me/
Breaking through to you/
And closer, hiding all/

You know me better than I do/
It's better if you lead the way/
You know me better than I do/
It's better if you lead the way/
You know me better than I do/
It's better if you lead the way/
You know me better than I do/
It's better if you lead the way/

Life is so much better with God leading the way...I regret ever letting myself come in between my relationship with God, and I'm going to let Him lead from now on.

-Matt-